diff --git a/SQL/tgstation_schema.sql b/SQL/tgstation_schema.sql
index 9696082994db..9991a037ee06 100644
--- a/SQL/tgstation_schema.sql
+++ b/SQL/tgstation_schema.sql
@@ -802,6 +802,23 @@ CREATE TABLE `subsystem_metrics` (
 	PRIMARY KEY (`id`) USING BTREE
 ) ENGINE=MyISAM DEFAULT CHARSET=utf8mb4 COLLATE=utf8mb4_general_ci;
 
+--
+-- Table structure for table `cassettes`
+--
+DROP TABLE IF EXISTS `cassettes`;
+CREATE TABLE `cassettes` (
+	`id` VARCHAR(255) NOT NULL PRIMARY KEY,
+	`name` VARCHAR(42) NOT NULL,
+	`desc` VARCHAR(144) NOT NULL,
+	`status` TINYINT UNSIGNED NOT NULL,
+	`author_name` VARCHAR(42) NOT NULL,
+	`author_ckey` VARCHAR(30) NOT NULL,
+	`front` TEXT NOT NULL DEFAULT '{}',
+	`back` TEXT NOT NULL DEFAULT '{}',
+	CONSTRAINT `front` CHECK (json_valid(`front`)),
+	CONSTRAINT `back` CHECK (json_valid(`back`))
+) ENGINE=InnoDB DEFAULT CHARSET=utf8mb4 COLLATE=utf8mb4_general_ci;
+
 /*!40101 SET SQL_MODE=@OLD_SQL_MODE */;
 /*!40014 SET FOREIGN_KEY_CHECKS=@OLD_FOREIGN_KEY_CHECKS */;
 /*!40014 SET UNIQUE_CHECKS=@OLD_UNIQUE_CHECKS */;
diff --git a/_maps/map_files/BoxStation/BoxStation.dmm b/_maps/map_files/BoxStation/BoxStation.dmm
index 82cec3c519f6..bf66eb14fa5d 100644
--- a/_maps/map_files/BoxStation/BoxStation.dmm
+++ b/_maps/map_files/BoxStation/BoxStation.dmm
@@ -21346,7 +21346,7 @@
 	pixel_y = -32
 	},
 /obj/structure/table/wood,
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/friday{
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/friday{
 	pixel_y = 2;
 	pixel_x = 9
 	},
diff --git a/_maps/map_files/MetaStation/MetaStation.dmm b/_maps/map_files/MetaStation/MetaStation.dmm
index 580dbe6c6205..32647bd0032a 100644
--- a/_maps/map_files/MetaStation/MetaStation.dmm
+++ b/_maps/map_files/MetaStation/MetaStation.dmm
@@ -51163,15 +51163,15 @@
 	pixel_y = 4;
 	pixel_x = -6
 	},
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank{
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/blank{
 	pixel_y = 3;
 	pixel_x = 5
 	},
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank{
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/blank{
 	pixel_y = 3;
 	pixel_x = 5
 	},
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank{
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/blank{
 	pixel_y = 3;
 	pixel_x = 5
 	},
diff --git a/_maps/map_files/Voidraptor/VoidRaptor.dmm b/_maps/map_files/Voidraptor/VoidRaptor.dmm
index dbae07341eae..c1d858bd99d0 100644
--- a/_maps/map_files/Voidraptor/VoidRaptor.dmm
+++ b/_maps/map_files/Voidraptor/VoidRaptor.dmm
@@ -10015,7 +10015,7 @@
 /obj/item/radio/radio_mic{
 	pixel_y = 7
 	},
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/friday{
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/friday{
 	pixel_y = -6;
 	pixel_x = -8
 	},
diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/subsystems.dm b/code/__DEFINES/subsystems.dm
index 2409801b5e34..14a15eb92d27 100644
--- a/code/__DEFINES/subsystems.dm
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/subsystems.dm
@@ -164,6 +164,7 @@
 #define INIT_ORDER_OUTPUTS 35
 #define INIT_ORDER_RESTAURANT 34
 #define INIT_ORDER_POLLUTION 32
+#define INIT_ORDER_CASSETTES 31 // monkestation addition: cassettes initialize before atoms, so that cassette stuff can be used in Initialize()
 #define INIT_ORDER_ATOMS 30
 #define INIT_ORDER_ARMAMENTS 27
 #define INIT_ORDER_LANGUAGE 25
diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/~monkestation/cassettes.dm b/code/__DEFINES/~monkestation/cassettes.dm
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..e4ec6a1cdcb2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/~monkestation/cassettes.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+/// Path to the base directory for cassette stuff
+#define CASSETTE_BASE_DIR	"data/cassette_storage/"
+/// Path to the file containing a list of cassette IDs.
+#define CASSETTE_ID_FILE	(CASSETTE_BASE_DIR + "ids.json")
+/// Path to the data for the cassette of the given ID.
+#define CASSETTE_FILE(id)	(CASSETTE_BASE_DIR + "[id].json")
+
+/// This cassette is unapproved, and has not been submitted for review.
+#define CASSETTE_STATUS_UNAPPROVED	0
+/// This cassette is under review.
+#define CASSETTE_STATUS_REVIEWING	1
+/// This cassette has been approved.
+#define CASSETTE_STATUS_APPROVED	2
diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/~monkestation-helpers/text.dm b/code/__HELPERS/~monkestation-helpers/text.dm
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..cb6383f2e031
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/~monkestation-helpers/text.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+/// Checks to see if a string starts with http:// or https://
+/proc/is_http_protocol(text)
+	var/static/regex/http_regex
+	if(isnull(http_regex))
+		http_regex = new("^https?://")
+	return findtext(text, http_regex)
diff --git a/code/_globalvars/_regexes.dm b/code/_globalvars/_regexes.dm
index 7297d509a918..e850889a42b7 100644
--- a/code/_globalvars/_regexes.dm
+++ b/code/_globalvars/_regexes.dm
@@ -1,7 +1,4 @@
 //These are a bunch of regex datums for use /((any|every|no|some|head|foot)where(wolf)?\sand\s)+(\.[\.\s]+\s?where\?)?/i
-GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(is_http_protocol, /regex, regex("^https?://"))
-GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(is_http_protocol_non_secure, /regex, regex("^http?://"))
-
 
 GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(is_website, /regex, regex("http|www.|\[a-z0-9_-]+.(com|org|net|mil|edu)+", "i"))
 GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(is_email, /regex, regex("\[a-z0-9_-]+@\[a-z0-9_-]+.\[a-z0-9_-]+", "i"))
diff --git a/code/controllers/configuration/entries/monkestation.dm b/code/controllers/configuration/entries/monkestation.dm
index c49237131fec..342063dd62a9 100644
--- a/code/controllers/configuration/entries/monkestation.dm
+++ b/code/controllers/configuration/entries/monkestation.dm
@@ -62,3 +62,5 @@
 	. = ..()
 	if(.)
 		config_entry_value *= 600 // documented as minutes
+
+/datum/config_entry/flag/cassettes_in_db
diff --git a/code/modules/admin/verbs/playsound.dm b/code/modules/admin/verbs/playsound.dm
index 784963f00d13..15e12625c8a9 100644
--- a/code/modules/admin/verbs/playsound.dm
+++ b/code/modules/admin/verbs/playsound.dm
@@ -150,7 +150,7 @@
 		message_admins("[key_name(user)] stopped web sounds.")
 		web_sound_url = null
 		stop_web_sounds = TRUE
-	if(web_sound_url && !findtext(web_sound_url, GLOB.is_http_protocol))
+	if(web_sound_url && !is_http_protocol(web_sound_url))
 		tgui_alert(user, "The media provider returned a content URL that isn't using the HTTP or HTTPS protocol. This is a security risk and the sound will not be played.", "Security Risk", list("OK"))
 		to_chat(user, span_boldwarning("BLOCKED: Content URL not using HTTP(S) Protocol!"), confidential = TRUE)
 
@@ -183,7 +183,7 @@
 
 	if(length(web_sound_input))
 		web_sound_input = trim(web_sound_input)
-		if(findtext(web_sound_input, ":") && !findtext(web_sound_input, GLOB.is_http_protocol))
+		if(findtext(web_sound_input, ":") && !is_http_protocol(web_sound_input))
 			to_chat(src, span_boldwarning("Non-http(s) URIs are not allowed."), confidential = TRUE)
 			to_chat(src, span_warning("For youtube-dl shortcuts like ytsearch: please use the appropriate full URL from the website."), confidential = TRUE)
 			return
diff --git a/code/modules/requests/request_manager.dm b/code/modules/requests/request_manager.dm
index eb16a38fc3bc..408889b86eef 100644
--- a/code/modules/requests/request_manager.dm
+++ b/code/modules/requests/request_manager.dm
@@ -245,7 +245,7 @@ GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(requests, /datum/request_manager, new)
 			if(request.req_type != REQUEST_INTERNET_SOUND)
 				to_chat(usr, "Request doesn't have a sound to play.", confidential = TRUE)
 				return TRUE
-			if(findtext(request.message, ":") && !findtext(request.message, GLOB.is_http_protocol))
+			if(findtext(request.message, ":") && !is_http_protocol(request.message))
 				to_chat(usr, "Request is not a valid URL.", confidential = TRUE)
 				return TRUE
 
diff --git a/code/modules/unit_tests/unit_test.dm b/code/modules/unit_tests/unit_test.dm
index e3446e24618a..1cc258a6efa0 100644
--- a/code/modules/unit_tests/unit_test.dm
+++ b/code/modules/unit_tests/unit_test.dm
@@ -326,8 +326,8 @@ GLOBAL_VAR_INIT(focused_tests, focused_tests())
 	///we generate mobs in these and create destroy does this in null space
 	ignore += typesof(/obj/item/loot_table_maker)
 	///we need to use json_decode to run randoms properly
-	ignore += typesof(/obj/item/device/cassette_tape)
-	ignore += typesof(/datum/cassette/cassette_tape)
+	ignore += typesof(/obj/item/cassette_tape)
+	ignore += typesof(/datum/cassette)
 	///we also dont want weathers or weather events as they will hold refs to alot of stuff as they shouldn't be deleted
 	ignore += typesof(/datum/weather_event)
 	ignore += typesof(/datum/particle_weather)
diff --git a/config/config.txt b/config/config.txt
index 464b95aa5078..46f90548fe35 100644
--- a/config/config.txt
+++ b/config/config.txt
@@ -566,3 +566,5 @@ CONFIG_ERRORS_RUNTIME
 ## The age in days if minimum account age is on
 #MINIMUM_AGE
 
+## If enabled, cassette tapes will be stored in the database, rather than JSON files on-disk.
+#CASSETTES_IN_DB
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/admin/verbs/spawn_mixtape.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/admin/verbs/spawn_mixtape.dm
index bffca51317a0..026026c7e422 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/admin/verbs/spawn_mixtape.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/admin/verbs/spawn_mixtape.dm
@@ -52,6 +52,6 @@
 	switch(action)
 		if("spawn")
 			if (params["id"])
-				new/obj/item/device/cassette_tape(usr.loc, params["id"])
+				new/obj/item/cassette_tape(usr.loc, params["id"])
 				SSblackbox.record_feedback("tally", "admin_verb", 1, "Spawn Mixtape")
 				log_admin("[key_name(usr)] created mixtape [params["id"]] at [usr.loc].")
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/goodies.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/goodies.dm
index 79ed63cfb20d..d199df9b2f9f 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/goodies.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/goodies.dm
@@ -8,10 +8,10 @@
 	name = "Cassette Mini-Pack"
 	desc = "Alright, we'll admit it, 10 cassettes are too much for the majority of our users. Contains 3 Approved Cassettes."
 	cost = PAYCHECK_CREW * 5
-	contains = list(/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/random = 3)
+	contains = list(/obj/item/cassette_tape/random = 3)
 
 /datum/supply_pack/goody/blankcassette
 	name = "Blank Cassette Mini-Pack"
 	desc = "NO! We wont admit defeat! You will march yourself down to the Service section and purchase the 10 Blank Cassette pack instead of this Weak 3 Blank Cassette Pack!"
 	cost = PAYCHECK_CREW * 3
-	contains = list(/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank = 3)
+	contains = list(/obj/item/cassette_tape/blank = 3)
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/service.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/service.dm
index 3b0c69c0efe9..fe7fbcd48ba3 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/service.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cargo/crates/service.dm
@@ -45,13 +45,13 @@
 
 /datum/supply_pack/service/cassettes/fill(obj/structure/closet/crate/our_crate)
 	for(var/id in unique_random_tapes(10))
-		new /obj/item/device/cassette_tape(our_crate, id)
+		new /obj/item/cassette_tape(our_crate, id)
 
 /datum/supply_pack/service/blankcassettes
 	name = "Blank Cassettes Crate"
 	desc = "in the VERY unlikely event you have run out of blank cassettes, you can get 10 blank ones here. Contains 10 blank cassettes for use in Walkmans."
 	cost = CARGO_CRATE_VALUE * 2
-	contains = list(/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank = 10)
+	contains = list(/obj/item/cassette_tape/blank = 10)
 	crate_name = "cassette crate"
 
 /datum/supply_pack/service/walkmen
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette.dm
index 9fdfe816cb7e..3fc36c21f793 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette.dm
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape
+/obj/item/cassette_tape
 	name = "Debug Cassette Tape"
 	desc = "You shouldn't be seeing this!"
 	icon = 'monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/icons/walkman.dmi'
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@
 	var/random = FALSE
 	var/cassette_desc_string = "Generic Desc"
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/Initialize(mapload, spawned_id)
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/Initialize(mapload, spawned_id)
 	. = ..()
 	if(!length(GLOB.approved_ids))
 		GLOB.approved_ids = initialize_approved_ids()
@@ -57,13 +57,13 @@
 
 	update_appearance()
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/attack_self(mob/user)
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/attack_self(mob/user)
 	..()
 	icon_state = flipped ? side1_icon : side2_icon
 	flipped = !flipped
 	to_chat(user, span_notice("You flip [src]."))
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/update_desc(updates)
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/update_desc(updates)
 	. = ..()
 	desc = cassette_desc_string
 	desc += "\n"
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@
 	if(author_name)
 		desc += span_notice("Mixed by [author_name]\n")
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/attackby(obj/item/item, mob/living/user)
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/attackby(obj/item/item, mob/living/user)
 	if(!istype(item, /obj/item/pen))
 		return ..()
 	var/choice = tgui_input_list(usr, "What would you like to change?", items = list("Cassette Name", "Cassette Description", "Cancel"))
@@ -106,24 +106,8 @@
 		else
 			return
 
-/datum/cassette/cassette_tape
-	var/name = "Broken Cassette"
-	var/desc = "You shouldn't be seeing this! Make an issue about it"
-	var/icon_state = "cassette_flip"
-	var/side1_icon = "cassette_flip"
-	var/side2_icon = "cassette_flip"
-	var/id = "blank"
-	var/creator_ckey = "Dwasint"
-	var/creator_name = "Collects-The-Candy"
-	var/approved = TRUE
-	var/list/song_names = list("side1" = list(),
-							   "side2" = list())
-
-	var/list/songs = list("side1" = list(),
-						  "side2" = list())
-
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/blank
 	id = "blank"
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/friday
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/friday
 	id = "friday"
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_approval.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_approval.dm
index dce781859162..dfa2d3f4857c 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_approval.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_approval.dm
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(cassette_reviews, list())
 
 #define ADMIN_OPEN_REVIEW(id) "(<A href='?_src_=holder;[HrefToken(forceGlobal = TRUE)];open_music_review=[id]'>Open Review</a>)"
-/proc/submit_cassette_for_review(obj/item/device/cassette_tape/submitted, mob/user)
+/proc/submit_cassette_for_review(obj/item/cassette_tape/submitted, mob/user)
 	if(!user.client)
 		return
 	var/datum/cassette_review/new_review = new
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(cassette_reviews, list())
 															has requested a review on their cassette."))]")
 	to_chat(user, span_notice("Your Cassette has been sent to the Space Board of Music for review, you will be notified when an outcome has been made."))
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/proc/generate_cassette_json()
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/proc/generate_cassette_json()
 	if(approved_tape)
 		return
 	if(!length(GLOB.approved_ids))
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(cassette_reviews, list())
 			"song_url" = list()
 		)
 	)
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/submitted_tape
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/submitted_tape
 
 	var/action_taken = FALSE
 
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_datum.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_datum.dm
index 07efe51ea95e..3671e96c50c1 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_datum.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_datum.dm
@@ -1,61 +1,182 @@
-/datum/cassette_data
-	var/cassette_name
-	var/cassette_author
-	var/cassette_desc
-	var/cassette_author_ckey
-
-	var/cassette_design_front
-	var/cassette_design_back
-
-	var/list/songs
-
-	var/list/song_names
-
-	var/cassette_id
-	var/approved
-	var/file_name
-
-
-/datum/cassette_data/proc/populate_data(file_id)
-	var/file = file("data/cassette_storage/[file_id].json")
-	if(!fexists(file))
+/datum/cassette
+	/// The unique ID of the cassette.
+	var/id
+	/// The name of the cassette.
+	var/name
+	/// The description of the cassette.
+	var/desc
+	/// The status of this cassette.
+	var/status = CASSETTE_STATUS_UNAPPROVED
+	/// Information about the author of this cassette.
+	var/datum/cassette_author/author
+
+	/// The front side of the cassette.
+	var/datum/cassette_side/front
+	/// The back side of the cassette.
+	var/datum/cassette_side/back
+
+/datum/cassette/New()
+	. = ..()
+	author = new
+	front = new
+	back = new
+
+/datum/cassette/Destroy(force)
+	QDEL_NULL(author)
+	QDEL_NULL(front)
+	QDEL_NULL(back)
+	return ..()
+
+/// Imports cassette date from the old format.
+/datum/cassette/proc/import_old_format(list/data)
+	name = data["name"]
+	desc = data["desc"]
+	if("status" in data)
+		status = data["status"]
+	else
+		status = data["approved"] ? CASSETTE_STATUS_APPROVED : CASSETTE_STATUS_UNAPPROVED
+
+	author.name = data["author_name"]
+	author.ckey = ckey(data["author_ckey"])
+
+	for(var/i in 1 to 2)
+		var/datum/cassette_side/side = get_side(i % 2) // side2 = 0, side1 = 1
+		var/side_name = "side[i]"
+		var/list/song_urls = data["songs"][side_name]
+		var/list/song_names = data["song_names"][side_name]
+		if(length(song_urls) != length(song_names))
+			stack_trace("amount of song urls for [side_name] ([length(song_urls)]) did not match amount of song names for [side_name] ([length(song_names)])")
+			continue
+		side.design = data["[side_name]_icon"]
+		for(var/idx in 1 to length(song_urls))
+			side.songs += new /datum/cassette_song(song_names[idx], song_urls[idx])
+
+/// Exports cassette date in the old format.
+/datum/cassette/proc/export_old_format() as /list
+	RETURN_TYPE(/list)
+	. = list(
+		"name" = name,
+		"desc" = desc,
+		"side1_icon" = /datum/cassette_side::design,
+		"side2_icon" = /datum/cassette_side::design,
+		"author_name" = author.name,
+		"author_ckey" = ckey(author.ckey),
+		"approved" = status == CASSETTE_STATUS_APPROVED,
+		"status" = status,
+		"songs" = list(
+			"side1" = list(),
+			"side2" = list(),
+		),
+		"song_names" = list(
+			"side1" = list(),
+			"side2" = list(),
+		),
+	)
+	for(var/i in 1 to 2)
+		var/datum/cassette_side/side = get_side(i % 2) // side2 = 0, side1 = 1
+		var/side_name = "side[i]"
+		var/list/names = list()
+		var/list/urls = list()
+		.["[side_name]_icon"] = side.design
+		for(var/datum/cassette_song/song as anything in side.songs)
+			names += song.name
+			urls += song.url
+		.["song_names"][side_name] = names
+		.["songs"][side_name] = urls
+
+/// Saves the cassette to the data folder, in JSON format.
+/datum/cassette/proc/save_to_file()
+	if(!id)
+		CRASH("Attempted to save cassette without an ID to disk")
+	rustg_file_write(json_encode(export_old_format(), JSON_PRETTY_PRINT), CASSETTE_FILE(id))
+
+/// Saves the cassette to the database.
+/// Returns TRUE if successful, FALSE otherwise.
+/datum/cassette/proc/save_to_db()
+	if(!id)
+		CRASH("Attempted to save cassette without an ID to database")
+	if(!SSdbcore.Connect())
+		CRASH("Could not save cassette [id], database not connected")
+	var/datum/db_query/query_save_cassette = SSdbcore.NewQuery({"
+		INSERT INTO [format_table_name("cassettes")]
+			(id, name, desc, status, author_name, author_ckey, front, back)
+		VALUES
+			(:id, :name, :desc, :status, :author_name, :author_ckey, :front, :back)
+		ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE
+			name = VALUES(name),
+			desc = VALUES(desc),
+			status = VALUES(status),
+			author_name = VALUES(author_name),
+			author_ckey = VALUES(author_ckey),
+			front = VALUES(front),
+			back = VALUES(back)
+	"}, list(
+		"id" = id,
+		"name" = name,
+		"desc" = desc,
+		"status" = status,
+		"author_name" = author.name,
+		"author_name" = ckey(author.ckey),
+		"front" = json_encode(front.export_for_db()),
+		"back" = json_encode(back.export_for_db()),
+	))
+	if(!query_save_cassette.warn_execute())
+		qdel(query_save_cassette)
+		stack_trace("Failed to save cassette [id] to database")
 		return FALSE
-	var/list/data = json_decode(file2text(file))
-
-	cassette_name = data["name"]
-	cassette_desc = data["desc"]
-
-	cassette_design_front = data["side1_icon"]
-	cassette_design_back = data["side2_icon"]
-
-	songs = data["songs"]
-
-	song_names = data["song_names"]
-
-	cassette_author = data["author_name"]
-	cassette_author_ckey = data["author_ckey"]
-
-	cassette_id = file_id
-
-	approved = data["approved"]
-
-	file_name = "data/cassette_storage/[file_id].json"
-
+	qdel(query_save_cassette)
 	return TRUE
 
-/datum/cassette_data/proc/generate_cassette(turf/location)
-	if(!location)
-		return
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/new_tape = new(location)
-	new_tape.name = cassette_name
-	new_tape.cassette_desc_string = cassette_desc
-	new_tape.icon_state = cassette_design_front
-	new_tape.side1_icon = cassette_design_front
-	new_tape.side2_icon = cassette_design_back
-	new_tape.songs = songs
-	new_tape.song_names = song_names
-	new_tape.author_name = cassette_author
-	new_tape.ckey_author = cassette_author_ckey
-	new_tape.approved_tape = approved
-
-	new_tape.update_appearance()
+
+/// Simple helper to get a side of the cassette.
+/// TRUE is front side, FALSE is back side.
+/datum/cassette/proc/get_side(front_side = TRUE) as /datum/cassette_side
+	RETURN_TYPE(/datum/cassette_side)
+	return front_side ? front : back
+
+/// Returns a list of all the song names in this cassette.
+/// Really only useful for searching for cassettes via contained song names.
+/datum/cassette/proc/list_song_names() as /list
+	RETURN_TYPE(/list)
+	. = list()
+	for(var/datum/cassette_song/song as anything in front.songs + back.songs)
+		. |= song.name
+
+/datum/cassette_author
+	/// The character name of the cassette author.
+	var/name
+	/// The ckey of the cassette author.
+	var/ckey
+
+/datum/cassette_side
+	/// The design of this side of the cassette.
+	var/design = "cassette_flip"
+	/// The songs on this side of the cassette.
+	var/list/datum/cassette_song/songs = list()
+
+/// Imports data for this cassette side to the JSON format used by the database.
+/datum/cassette_side/proc/import_from_db(list/data)
+	design = data["design"]
+	for(var/list/song as anything in data["songs"])
+		songs += new /datum/cassette_song(song["name"], song["url"])
+
+/// Exports data from this cassette side in the JSON format used by the database.
+/datum/cassette_side/proc/export_for_db()
+	. = list("design" = design, "songs" = list())
+	for(var/datum/cassette_song/song as anything in songs)
+		.["songs"] += list(list("name" = song.name, "url" = song.url))
+
+/datum/cassette_side/Destroy(force)
+	QDEL_LIST(songs)
+	return ..()
+
+/datum/cassette_song
+	/// The name of the song.
+	var/name
+	/// The URL of the song.
+	var/url
+
+/datum/cassette_song/New(name, url)
+	. = ..()
+	src.name = name
+	src.url = url
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_manager.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_manager.dm
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..0f8c26c6f58c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/cassette_manager.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,190 @@
+SUBSYSTEM_DEF(cassettes)
+	name = "Cassetes"
+	init_order = INIT_ORDER_CASSETTES
+	flags = SS_NO_FIRE
+	/// An associative list of IDs to cassette data.
+	var/list/datum/cassette/cassettes = list()
+
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/Initialize()
+	. = SS_INIT_FAILURE
+	if(CONFIG_GET(flag/cassettes_in_db) && !CONFIG_GET(flag/sql_enabled))
+		stack_trace("CASSETTES_IN_DB was enabled, despite the SQL database not being enabled! Disabling CASSETTES_IN_DB.")
+		CONFIG_SET(flag/cassettes_in_db, FALSE)
+	if(CONFIG_GET(flag/cassettes_in_db))
+		if(!SSdbcore.Connect())
+			CRASH("Database-based cassettes are enabled, but a connection to the database could not be established!")
+		if(!load_all_cassettes_from_db())
+			CRASH("Failed to load all cassettes from database!")
+	else
+		if(!load_all_cassettes_from_json())
+			CRASH("Failed to load all cassettes from data folder!")
+	return SS_INIT_SUCCESS
+
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/Recover()
+	flags |= SS_NO_INIT
+	cassettes = SScassettes.cassettes
+
+/// Loads the cassette with the given ID.
+/// If `db` is TRUE, it will load the cassette from the database.
+/// If `db` is FALSE, the cassette will be loaded from a JSON in the `data/cassette_storage` folder.
+/// If `db` is null (the default), it will load from the database if the `CASSETTES_IN_DB` config option is set, otherwise it will load from the JSON files.
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/load_cassette(id, db) as /datum/cassette
+	RETURN_TYPE(/datum/cassette)
+	if(!id)
+		return null
+	if(id in cassettes)
+		return cassettes[id]
+	if(isnull(db))
+		db = CONFIG_GET(flag/cassettes_in_db)
+	var/datum/cassette/cassette_data = db ? load_cassette_from_db_raw(id) : load_cassette_from_json_raw(id)
+	if(cassette_data)
+		cassettes[id] = cassette_data
+		return cassette_data
+
+/// Loads the cassette with the given ID from a JSON in the `data/cassette_storage` folder.
+/// This does not check the SScassettes.cassettes cache, and you should not use this - this is only used to initialize SScassettes.cassettes
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/load_cassette_from_json_raw(id) as /datum/cassette
+	RETURN_TYPE(/datum/cassette)
+	var/cassette_file = CASSETTE_FILE(id)
+	if(!rustg_file_exists(cassette_file))
+		return null
+	var/cassette_file_data = rustg_file_read(cassette_file)
+	if(!rustg_json_is_valid(cassette_file_data))
+		CRASH("Cassette file [cassette_file] had invalid JSON!")
+	var/list/cassette_json = json_decode(cassette_file_data)
+	var/datum/cassette/cassette_data = new
+	cassette_data.import_old_format(cassette_json)
+	cassette_data.id = id
+	return cassette_data
+
+/// Loads the cassette with the given ID from the database.
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/load_cassette_from_db_raw(id) as /datum/cassette
+	RETURN_TYPE(/datum/cassette)
+	if(!SSdbcore.Connect() || !id)
+		return
+	var/datum/db_query/query_cassette = SSdbcore.NewQuery("SELECT name, desc, status, author_name, author_ckey, front, back FROM [format_table_name("cassettes")] WHERE id = :id", list("id" = id))
+	if(!query_cassette.Execute() || !query_cassette.NextRow())
+		qdel(query_cassette)
+		return
+	var/name = query_cassette.item[1]
+	var/desc = query_cassette.item[2]
+	var/status = query_cassette.item[3]
+	var/author_name = query_cassette.item[4]
+	var/author_ckey = query_cassette.item[5]
+	var/list/front = json_decode(query_cassette.item[6])
+	var/list/back = json_decode(query_cassette.item[7])
+	qdel(query_cassette)
+
+	var/datum/cassette/cassette = new
+	cassette.id = id
+	cassette.name = name
+	cassette.desc = desc
+	cassette.status = status
+	cassette.author.name = author_name
+	cassette.author.ckey = author_ckey
+	cassette.front.import_from_db(front)
+	cassette.back.import_from_db(back)
+	return cassette
+
+/// Returns an associative list of id to cassette datums, of all existing saved cassettes.
+/// This uses the database.
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/load_all_cassettes_from_db()
+	. = FALSE
+	if(!SSdbcore.Connect())
+		CRASH("Failed to connect to database")
+	var/datum/db_query/query_cassettes = SSdbcore.NewQuery("SELECT id, name, desc, status, author_name, author_ckey, front, back FROM [format_table_name("cassettes")]")
+	if(!query_cassettes.Execute())
+		qdel(query_cassettes)
+		CRASH("Failed to load cassettes from database")
+	while(query_cassettes.NextRow())
+		var/id = query_cassettes.item[1]
+		var/name = query_cassettes.item[2]
+		var/desc = query_cassettes.item[3]
+		var/status = query_cassettes.item[4]
+		var/author_name = query_cassettes.item[5]
+		var/author_ckey = query_cassettes.item[6]
+		var/list/front = json_decode(query_cassettes.item[7])
+		var/list/back = json_decode(query_cassettes.item[8])
+
+		var/datum/cassette/cassette = new
+		cassette.id = id
+		cassette.name = name
+		cassette.desc = desc
+		cassette.status = status
+		cassette.author.name = author_name
+		cassette.author.ckey = author_ckey
+		cassette.front.import_from_db(front)
+		cassette.back.import_from_db(back)
+
+		cassettes[id] = cassette
+	qdel(query_cassettes)
+	return TRUE
+
+/// Returns an associative list of id to cassette datums, of all existing saved cassettes.
+/// This uses JSON files.
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/load_all_cassettes_from_json()
+	. = FALSE
+	if(!rustg_file_exists(CASSETTE_ID_FILE)) // this just means there's no cassettes at all i guess? which is valid.
+		return TRUE
+	var/list/ids = json_decode(rustg_file_read(CASSETTE_ID_FILE))
+	for(var/id in ids)
+		if(!ids)
+			continue
+		var/datum/cassette/cassette_data = load_cassette_from_json_raw(id)
+		if(isnull(cassette_data))
+			stack_trace("Failed to load cassette [id]")
+			continue
+		cassettes[id] = cassette_data
+	return TRUE
+
+/// Updates the ids.json file on-disk.
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/save_ids_json()
+	var/list/ids = list()
+	if(rustg_file_exists(CASSETTE_ID_FILE))
+		// Verify that each cassette ID still exists and is still considered "approved" before adding them to the list.
+		for(var/id in json_decode(rustg_file_read(CASSETTE_ID_FILE)))
+			if(!rustg_file_exists(CASSETTE_FILE(id)))
+				continue
+			ids += id
+	for(var/id in cassettes)
+		var/datum/cassette/cassette = cassettes[id]
+		if(cassette.status == CASSETTE_STATUS_UNAPPROVED)
+			ids -= id
+		else
+			ids |= id
+	rustg_file_write(ids, CASSETTE_ID_FILE)
+
+/// Gets all the cassettes authored by the given ckey.
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/get_cassettes_by_ckey(user_ckey) as /list
+	RETURN_TYPE(/list/datum/cassette)
+	. = list()
+	user_ckey = ckey(user_ckey)
+	for(var/id in cassettes)
+		var/datum/cassette/cassette = cassettes[id]
+		if(cassette.author.ckey == user_ckey)
+			. += cassette
+
+/datum/controller/subsystem/cassettes/proc/migrate_json_cassettes_to_db()
+	if(!SSdbcore.Connect())
+		CRASH("Cannot migrate JSON cassettes to the database if we can't even connect to the database!")
+	var/list/old_cassettes = cassettes.Copy()
+	cassettes.Cut()
+	if(!load_all_cassettes_from_json())
+		cassettes = old_cassettes
+		CRASH("Failed to load cassettes from JSON")
+	var/list/sql_cassettes = list()
+	for(var/id in cassettes)
+		var/datum/cassette/cassette = cassettes[id]
+		sql_cassettes += list(list(
+			"id" = id,
+			"name" = cassette.name,
+			"desc" = cassette.desc,
+			"status" = cassette.status,
+			"author_name" = cassette.author.name,
+			"author_ckey" = ckey(cassette.author.ckey),
+			"front" = cassette.front.export_for_db(),
+			"back" = cassette.back.export_for_db(),
+		))
+	if(!length(sql_cassettes))
+		return
+	SSdbcore.MassInsert(format_table_name("cassettes"), sql_cassettes, duplicate_key = TRUE, warn = TRUE)
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/subsystem.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/subsystem.dm
deleted file mode 100644
index bbca8076a20c..000000000000
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/cassette_db/subsystem.dm
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,30 +0,0 @@
-SUBSYSTEM_DEF(cassette_storage)
-	name = "Cassette Storage"
-	flags = SS_NO_FIRE
-	runlevels = RUNLEVEL_LOBBY | RUNLEVELS_DEFAULT
-	var/list/cassette_datums = list()
-
-
-/datum/controller/subsystem/cassette_storage/Initialize()
-	if(!length(GLOB.approved_ids))
-		GLOB.approved_ids = initialize_approved_ids()
-	generate_cassette_datums()
-	return SS_INIT_SUCCESS
-
-/datum/controller/subsystem/cassette_storage/proc/generate_cassette_datums()
-	for(var/id in GLOB.approved_ids)
-		var/datum/cassette_data/new_data = new
-		if(!new_data.populate_data(id))
-			qdel(new_data)
-			continue
-		cassette_datums += new_data
-
-/datum/controller/subsystem/cassette_storage/proc/get_cassettes_by_ckey(user_ckey) as /list
-	RETURN_TYPE(/list)
-	. = list()
-	if(!user_ckey)
-		return
-	user_ckey = ckey(user_ckey)
-	for(var/datum/cassette_data/tape as anything in SScassette_storage.cassette_datums)
-		if(ckey(tape.cassette_author_ckey) == user_ckey)
-			. += tape
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/cassette_rack.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/cassette_rack.dm
index 9abbeabb0371..3925273a2a06 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/cassette_rack.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/cassette_rack.dm
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
 
 /datum/storage/cassette_rack/New()
 	. = ..()
-	set_holdable(/obj/item/device/cassette_tape)
+	set_holdable(/obj/item/cassette_tape)
 
 // Allow opening on a normal left click
 /datum/storage/cassette_rack/on_attack(datum/source, mob/user)
@@ -50,9 +50,9 @@
 	REGISTER_REQUIRED_MAP_ITEM(1, INFINITY)
 	RegisterSignal(SSdcs, COMSIG_GLOB_CREWMEMBER_JOINED, PROC_REF(spawn_curator_tapes))
 	for(var/i in 1 to spawn_blanks)
-		new /obj/item/device/cassette_tape/blank(src)
+		new /obj/item/cassette_tape/blank(src)
 	for(var/id in unique_random_tapes(spawn_random))
-		new /obj/item/device/cassette_tape(src, id)
+		new /obj/item/cassette_tape(src, id)
 	update_appearance()
 
 /obj/structure/cassette_rack/prefilled/Destroy()
@@ -68,20 +68,18 @@
 	add_user_tapes(new_crewmember.ckey)
 
 /obj/structure/cassette_rack/prefilled/proc/add_user_tapes(user_ckey, max_amt = 3, expand_max_size = TRUE)
-	var/list/user_tapes = SScassette_storage.get_cassettes_by_ckey(user_ckey)
-	if(!length(user_tapes))
+	var/list/user_cassettes = SScassettes.get_cassettes_by_ckey(user_ckey)
+	if(!length(user_cassettes))
 		return FALSE
-	var/list/existing_tapes = list()
-	for(var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/tape in src)
+	var/list/existing_cassettes = list()
+	for(var/obj/item/cassette_tape/tape in src)
 		if(tape.id)
-			existing_tapes[tape.id] = TRUE
-	for(var/iter in 1 to max_amt)
-		if(!length(user_tapes))
-			break
-		var/datum/cassette_data/tape = pick_n_take(user_tapes)
-		if(existing_tapes[tape.cassette_id])
+			existing_cassettes[tape.id] = TRUE
+	for(var/iter in 1 to min(max_amt, length(user_cassettes)))
+		var/datum/cassette/cassette = pick_n_take(user_cassettes)
+		if(existing_cassettes[cassette.id])
 			continue
-		new /obj/item/device/cassette_tape(src, tape.cassette_id)
+		new /obj/item/cassette_tape(src, cassette.id)
 	if(expand_max_size && !QDELETED(atom_storage))
 		atom_storage.max_slots += max_amt
 		atom_storage.max_total_storage += max_amt * WEIGHT_CLASS_SMALL
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station.dm
index 386de43c5f57..a7742247f810 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station.dm
@@ -1,6 +1,5 @@
 GLOBAL_VAR(dj_broadcast)
-GLOBAL_VAR(dj_booth)
-
+GLOBAL_DATUM(dj_booth, /obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station)
 
 /obj/item/clothing/ears
 	//can we be used to listen to radio?
@@ -8,42 +7,35 @@ GLOBAL_VAR(dj_booth)
 
 /obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station
 	name = "Cassette Player"
-	desc = "Plays Space Music Board approved cassettes for anyone in the station to listen to "
+	desc = "Plays Space Music Board approved cassettes for anyone in the station to listen to."
 
 	icon = 'monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/icons/radio_station.dmi'
 	icon_state = "cassette_player"
 
-	active_power_usage = BASE_MACHINE_ACTIVE_CONSUMPTION
+	use_power = NO_POWER_USE
+
+	resistance_flags = INDESTRUCTIBLE | LAVA_PROOF | FIRE_PROOF | UNACIDABLE | ACID_PROOF
+	move_resist = MOVE_FORCE_OVERPOWERING
 
-	resistance_flags = INDESTRUCTIBLE
 	anchored = TRUE
 	density = TRUE
-	var/broadcasting = FALSE
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/inserted_tape
-	var/time_left = 0
-	var/current_song_duration = 0
-	var/list/people_with_signals = list()
-	var/list/active_listeners = list()
-	var/waiting_for_yield = FALSE
-
-	//tape stuff goes here
-	var/pl_index = 0
-	var/list/current_playlist = list()
-	var/list/current_namelist = list()
 
+	var/broadcasting = FALSE
 	COOLDOWN_DECLARE(next_song_timer)
 
 /obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/Initialize(mapload)
 	. = ..()
 	REGISTER_REQUIRED_MAP_ITEM(1, INFINITY)
-	GLOB.dj_booth = src
 	register_context()
+	if(QDELETED(GLOB.dj_booth))
+		GLOB.dj_booth = src
 
 /obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/Destroy()
-	. = ..()
-	GLOB.dj_booth = null
-	STOP_PROCESSING(SSprocessing, src)
+	if(GLOB.dj_booth == src)
+		GLOB.dj_booth = null
+	return ..()
 
+/*
 /obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/add_context(atom/source, list/context, obj/item/held_item, mob/user)
 	. = ..()
 	if(inserted_tape)
@@ -51,327 +43,4 @@ GLOBAL_VAR(dj_booth)
 		if(!broadcasting)
 			context[SCREENTIP_CONTEXT_LMB] = "Play Tape"
 	return CONTEXTUAL_SCREENTIP_SET
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/examine(mob/user)
-	. = ..()
-	if(time_left > 0 || next_song_timer)
-		. += span_notice("It seems to be cooling down, you estimate it will take about [time_left ? DisplayTimeText(((time_left * 10) + 6000)) : DisplayTimeText(COOLDOWN_TIMELEFT(src, next_song_timer))].")
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/process(seconds_per_tick)
-	if(waiting_for_yield)
-		return
-	time_left -= round(seconds_per_tick)
-	if(time_left <= 0)
-		time_left = 0
-		if(COOLDOWN_FINISHED(src, next_song_timer) && broadcasting)
-			COOLDOWN_START(src, next_song_timer, 10 MINUTES)
-		broadcasting = FALSE
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/attack_hand(mob/user)
-	. = ..()
-	if(!inserted_tape)
-		return
-	if((!COOLDOWN_FINISHED(src, next_song_timer)) && !broadcasting)
-		to_chat(user, span_notice("The [src] feels hot to the touch and needs time to cooldown."))
-		to_chat(user, span_info("You estimate it will take about [time_left ? DisplayTimeText(((time_left * 10) + 6000)) : DisplayTimeText(COOLDOWN_TIMELEFT(src, next_song_timer))] to cool down."))
-		return
-	message_admins("[src] started broadcasting [inserted_tape] interacted with by [user]")
-	logger.Log(LOG_CATEGORY_MUSIC, "[src] started broadcasting [inserted_tape]")
-	start_broadcast()
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/AltClick(mob/user)
-	. = ..()
-	if(!isliving(user) || !user.Adjacent(src))
-		return
-	if(!inserted_tape)
-		return
-	if(broadcasting)
-		next_song()
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/CtrlClick(mob/user)
-	. = ..()
-	if(!inserted_tape || broadcasting)
-		return
-	if(Adjacent(user) && !issiliconoradminghost(user))
-		if(!user.put_in_hands(inserted_tape))
-			inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
-	else
-		inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
-	inserted_tape = null
-	time_left = 0
-	current_song_duration = 0
-	pl_index = 0
-	current_playlist = list()
-	current_namelist = list()
-	stop_broadcast(TRUE)
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/attackby(obj/item/weapon, mob/user, params)
-	if(!istype(weapon, /obj/item/device/cassette_tape))
-		return
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/attacked = weapon
-	if(!attacked.approved_tape)
-		to_chat(user, span_warning("The [src] smartly rejects the bootleg cassette tape"))
-		return
-	if(!inserted_tape)
-		insert_tape(attacked)
-	else
-		if(!broadcasting)
-			if(Adjacent(user) && !issiliconoradminghost(user))
-				if(!user.put_in_hands(inserted_tape))
-					inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
-			else
-				inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
-			inserted_tape = null
-			time_left = 0
-			current_song_duration = 0
-			pl_index = 0
-			current_playlist = list()
-			current_namelist = list()
-			insert_tape(attacked)
-			if(broadcasting)
-				stop_broadcast(TRUE)
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/device/cassette_tape/CTape)
-	if(inserted_tape || !istype(CTape))
-		return
-
-	inserted_tape = CTape
-	CTape.forceMove(src)
-
-	update_appearance()
-	pl_index = 1
-	if(inserted_tape.songs["side1"] && inserted_tape.songs["side2"])
-		var/list/list = inserted_tape.songs["[inserted_tape.flipped ? "side2" : "side1"]"]
-		for(var/song in list)
-			current_playlist += song
-
-		var/list/name_list = inserted_tape.song_names["[inserted_tape.flipped ? "side2" : "side1"]"]
-		for(var/song in name_list)
-			current_namelist += song
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/stop_broadcast(soft = FALSE)
-	STOP_PROCESSING(SSprocessing, src)
-	GLOB.dj_broadcast = FALSE
-	broadcasting = FALSE
-	message_admins("[src] has stopped broadcasting [inserted_tape].")
-	logger.Log(LOG_CATEGORY_MUSIC, "[src] has stopped broadcasting [inserted_tape]")
-	for(var/client/anything as anything in active_listeners)
-		if(!istype(anything))
-			continue
-		anything.tgui_panel?.stop_music()
-		GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] -= anything
-	active_listeners = list()
-
-	if(!soft)
-		for(var/mob/living/carbon/anything as anything in people_with_signals)
-			if(!istype(anything))
-				continue
-			UnregisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_EARS)
-			UnregisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_EARS)
-			UnregisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_MOVABLE_Z_CHANGED)
-		people_with_signals = list()
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/start_broadcast()
-	var/choice = tgui_input_list(usr, "Choose which song to play.", "[src]", current_namelist)
-	if(!choice)
-		return
-	var/list_index = current_namelist.Find(choice)
-	if(!list_index)
-		return
-	GLOB.dj_broadcast = TRUE
-	pl_index = list_index
-
-	var/list/viable_z = SSmapping.levels_by_any_trait(list(ZTRAIT_STATION, ZTRAIT_MINING, ZTRAIT_CENTCOM, ZTRAIT_RESERVED))
-	for(var/mob/person as anything in GLOB.player_list)
-		if(issilicon(person) || isobserver(person) || isaicamera(person) || isbot(person))
-			active_listeners |=	person.client
-			continue
-		if(iscarbon(person))
-			var/mob/living/carbon/anything = person
-			if(!(anything in people_with_signals))
-				if(!istype(anything))
-					continue
-
-				RegisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(stop_solo_broadcast))
-				RegisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
-				RegisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_MOVABLE_Z_CHANGED, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
-				people_with_signals |= anything
-
-			if(!(anything.client in active_listeners))
-				if(!(anything.z in viable_z))
-					continue
-
-				if(!anything.client)
-					continue
-
-				if(anything.client in GLOB.youtube_exempt["walkman"])
-					continue
-
-				var/obj/item/ear_slot = anything.get_item_by_slot(ITEM_SLOT_EARS)
-				if(istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/clothing/ears))
-					var/obj/item/clothing/ears/worn
-					if(!worn || !worn?.radio_compat)
-						continue
-				else if(!istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/radio/headset))
-					continue
-
-				if(!anything.client.prefs?.read_preference(/datum/preference/toggle/hear_music))
-					continue
-
-				active_listeners |=	anything.client
-
-	if(!length(active_listeners))
-		return
-
-	start_playing(active_listeners)
-	START_PROCESSING(SSprocessing, src)
-
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/check_solo_broadcast(mob/living/carbon/source, obj/item/clothing/ears/ear_item)
-	SIGNAL_HANDLER
-
-	if(!istype(source))
-		return
-
-	if(istype(ear_item, /obj/item/clothing/ears))
-		var/obj/item/clothing/ears/worn
-		if(!worn || !worn?.radio_compat)
-			return
-	else if(!istype(ear_item, /obj/item/radio/headset))
-		return
-
-	var/list/viable_z = SSmapping.levels_by_any_trait(list(ZTRAIT_STATION, ZTRAIT_MINING, ZTRAIT_CENTCOM))
-	if(!(source.z in viable_z) || !source.client)
-		return
-
-	if(!source.client.prefs?.read_preference(/datum/preference/toggle/hear_music))
-		return
-
-	active_listeners |= source.client
-	GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] |= source.client
-	INVOKE_ASYNC(src, PROC_REF(start_playing),list(source.client))
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/stop_solo_broadcast(mob/living/carbon/source)
-	SIGNAL_HANDLER
-
-	if(!source.client || !(source.client in active_listeners))
-		return
-
-	active_listeners -= source.client
-	GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] -= source.client
-	source.client.tgui_panel?.stop_music()
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/start_playing(list/clients)
-	if(!inserted_tape)
-		if(broadcasting)
-			stop_broadcast(TRUE)
-		return
-
-	waiting_for_yield = TRUE
-	if(findtext(current_playlist[pl_index], GLOB.is_http_protocol))
-		///invoking youtube-dl
-		var/ytdl = CONFIG_GET(string/invoke_youtubedl)
-		///the input for ytdl handled by the song list
-		var/web_sound_input
-		///the url for youtube-dl
-		var/web_sound_url = ""
-		///all extra data from the youtube-dl really want the name
-		var/list/music_extra_data = list()
-		web_sound_input = trim(current_playlist[pl_index])
-		if(!(web_sound_input in GLOB.parsed_audio))
-			///scrubbing the input before putting it in the shell
-			var/shell_scrubbed_input = shell_url_scrub(web_sound_input)
-			///putting it in the shell
-			var/list/output = world.shelleo("[ytdl] --geo-bypass --format \"bestaudio\[ext=mp3]/best\[ext=mp4]\[height <= 360]/bestaudio\[ext=m4a]/bestaudio\[ext=aac]\" --dump-single-json --no-playlist --extractor-args \"youtube:lang=en\" -- \"[shell_scrubbed_input]\"")
-			///any errors
-			var/errorlevel = output[SHELLEO_ERRORLEVEL]
-			///the standard output
-			var/stdout = output[SHELLEO_STDOUT]
-			if(!errorlevel)
-				///list for all the output data to go to
-				var/list/data
-				try
-					data = json_decode(stdout)
-				catch(var/exception/error) ///catch errors here
-					to_chat(src, "<span class='boldwarning'>Youtube-dl JSON parsing FAILED:</span>", confidential = TRUE)
-					to_chat(src, "<span class='warning'>[error]: [stdout]</span>", confidential = TRUE)
-					return
-
-				if (data["url"])
-					web_sound_url = data["url"]
-					music_extra_data["start"] = data["start_time"]
-					music_extra_data["end"] = data["end_time"]
-					music_extra_data["link"] = data["webpage_url"]
-					music_extra_data["title"] = data["title"]
-					if(music_extra_data["start"])
-						time_left = data["duration"] - music_extra_data["start"]
-					else
-						time_left = data["duration"]
-
-					current_song_duration = data["duration"]
-
-				GLOB.parsed_audio["[web_sound_input]"] = data
-		else
-			var/list/data = GLOB.parsed_audio["[web_sound_input]"]
-			web_sound_url = data["url"]
-			music_extra_data["start"] = data["start_time"]
-			music_extra_data["end"] = data["end_time"]
-			music_extra_data["link"] = data["webpage_url"]
-			music_extra_data["title"] = data["title"]
-			if(time_left <= 0)
-				if(music_extra_data["start"])
-					time_left = data["duration"] - music_extra_data["start"]
-				else
-					time_left = data["duration"]
-
-			current_song_duration = data["duration"]
-			music_extra_data["duration"] = data["duration"]
-
-			if(time_left > 0)
-				music_extra_data["start"] = music_extra_data["duration"] - time_left
-
-		for(var/client/anything as anything in clients)
-			if(!istype(anything))
-				continue
-			anything.tgui_panel?.play_music(web_sound_url, music_extra_data)
-			GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] |= anything
-		broadcasting = TRUE
-	waiting_for_yield = FALSE
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/add_new_player(mob/living/carbon/new_player)
-	if(!(new_player in people_with_signals))
-		RegisterSignal(new_player, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(stop_solo_broadcast))
-		RegisterSignal(new_player, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
-		RegisterSignal(new_player, COMSIG_MOVABLE_Z_CHANGED, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
-		people_with_signals |= new_player
-
-	if(!broadcasting)
-		return
-
-	var/obj/item/ear_slot = new_player.get_item_by_slot(ITEM_SLOT_EARS)
-	if(istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/clothing/ears))
-		var/obj/item/clothing/ears/worn
-		if(!worn || !worn?.radio_compat)
-			return
-	else if(!istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/radio/headset))
-		return
-	var/list/viable_z = SSmapping.levels_by_any_trait(list(ZTRAIT_STATION, ZTRAIT_MINING, ZTRAIT_CENTCOM))
-	if(!(new_player.z in viable_z))
-		return
-
-	if(!(new_player.client in active_listeners))
-		active_listeners |= new_player.client
-		start_playing(list(new_player.client))
-
-/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/next_song()
-	waiting_for_yield = TRUE
-	var/choice = tgui_input_number(usr, "Choose which song number to play.", "[src]", 1, length(current_playlist), 1)
-	if(!choice)
-		waiting_for_yield = FALSE
-		stop_broadcast()
-		return
-	GLOB.dj_broadcast = TRUE
-	pl_index = choice
-
-	pl_index++
-	start_playing(active_listeners)
+*/
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station_old.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station_old.dm
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..f9b24f679fc8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/dj_station_old.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,377 @@
+GLOBAL_VAR(dj_broadcast)
+GLOBAL_DATUM(dj_booth, /obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station)
+
+/obj/item/clothing/ears
+	//can we be used to listen to radio?
+	var/radio_compat = FALSE
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station
+	name = "Cassette Player"
+	desc = "Plays Space Music Board approved cassettes for anyone in the station to listen to."
+
+	icon = 'monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/icons/radio_station.dmi'
+	icon_state = "cassette_player"
+
+	active_power_usage = BASE_MACHINE_ACTIVE_CONSUMPTION
+
+	resistance_flags = INDESTRUCTIBLE
+	anchored = TRUE
+	density = TRUE
+	var/broadcasting = FALSE
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/inserted_tape
+	var/time_left = 0
+	var/current_song_duration = 0
+	var/list/people_with_signals = list()
+	var/list/active_listeners = list()
+	var/waiting_for_yield = FALSE
+
+	//tape stuff goes here
+	var/pl_index = 0
+	var/list/current_playlist = list()
+	var/list/current_namelist = list()
+
+	COOLDOWN_DECLARE(next_song_timer)
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/Initialize(mapload)
+	. = ..()
+	REGISTER_REQUIRED_MAP_ITEM(1, INFINITY)
+	register_context()
+	if(QDELETED(GLOB.dj_booth))
+		GLOB.dj_booth = src
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/Destroy()
+	if(GLOB.dj_booth == src)
+		GLOB.dj_booth = null
+	return ..()
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/add_context(atom/source, list/context, obj/item/held_item, mob/user)
+	. = ..()
+	if(inserted_tape)
+		context[SCREENTIP_CONTEXT_CTRL_LMB] = "Eject Tape"
+		if(!broadcasting)
+			context[SCREENTIP_CONTEXT_LMB] = "Play Tape"
+	return CONTEXTUAL_SCREENTIP_SET
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/examine(mob/user)
+	. = ..()
+	if(time_left > 0 || next_song_timer)
+		. += span_notice("It seems to be cooling down, you estimate it will take about [time_left ? DisplayTimeText(((time_left * 10) + 6000)) : DisplayTimeText(COOLDOWN_TIMELEFT(src, next_song_timer))].")
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/process(seconds_per_tick)
+	if(waiting_for_yield)
+		return
+	time_left -= round(seconds_per_tick)
+	if(time_left <= 0)
+		time_left = 0
+		if(COOLDOWN_FINISHED(src, next_song_timer) && broadcasting)
+			COOLDOWN_START(src, next_song_timer, 10 MINUTES)
+		broadcasting = FALSE
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/attack_hand(mob/user)
+	. = ..()
+	if(!inserted_tape)
+		return
+	if((!COOLDOWN_FINISHED(src, next_song_timer)) && !broadcasting)
+		to_chat(user, span_notice("The [src] feels hot to the touch and needs time to cooldown."))
+		to_chat(user, span_info("You estimate it will take about [time_left ? DisplayTimeText(((time_left * 10) + 6000)) : DisplayTimeText(COOLDOWN_TIMELEFT(src, next_song_timer))] to cool down."))
+		return
+	message_admins("[src] started broadcasting [inserted_tape] interacted with by [user]")
+	logger.Log(LOG_CATEGORY_MUSIC, "[src] started broadcasting [inserted_tape]")
+	start_broadcast()
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/AltClick(mob/user)
+	. = ..()
+	if(!isliving(user) || !user.Adjacent(src))
+		return
+	if(!inserted_tape)
+		return
+	if(broadcasting)
+		next_song()
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/CtrlClick(mob/user)
+	. = ..()
+	if(!inserted_tape || broadcasting)
+		return
+	if(Adjacent(user) && !issiliconoradminghost(user))
+		if(!user.put_in_hands(inserted_tape))
+			inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
+	else
+		inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
+	inserted_tape = null
+	time_left = 0
+	current_song_duration = 0
+	pl_index = 0
+	current_playlist = list()
+	current_namelist = list()
+	stop_broadcast(TRUE)
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/attackby(obj/item/weapon, mob/user, params)
+	if(!istype(weapon, /obj/item/cassette_tape))
+		return
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/attacked = weapon
+	if(!attacked.approved_tape)
+		to_chat(user, span_warning("The [src] smartly rejects the bootleg cassette tape"))
+		return
+	if(!inserted_tape)
+		insert_tape(attacked)
+	else
+		if(!broadcasting)
+			if(Adjacent(user) && !issiliconoradminghost(user))
+				if(!user.put_in_hands(inserted_tape))
+					inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
+			else
+				inserted_tape.forceMove(drop_location())
+			inserted_tape = null
+			time_left = 0
+			current_song_duration = 0
+			pl_index = 0
+			current_playlist = list()
+			current_namelist = list()
+			insert_tape(attacked)
+			if(broadcasting)
+				stop_broadcast(TRUE)
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/cassette_tape/CTape)
+	if(inserted_tape || !istype(CTape))
+		return
+
+	inserted_tape = CTape
+	CTape.forceMove(src)
+
+	update_appearance()
+	pl_index = 1
+	if(inserted_tape.songs["side1"] && inserted_tape.songs["side2"])
+		var/list/list = inserted_tape.songs["[inserted_tape.flipped ? "side2" : "side1"]"]
+		for(var/song in list)
+			current_playlist += song
+
+		var/list/name_list = inserted_tape.song_names["[inserted_tape.flipped ? "side2" : "side1"]"]
+		for(var/song in name_list)
+			current_namelist += song
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/stop_broadcast(soft = FALSE)
+	STOP_PROCESSING(SSprocessing, src)
+	GLOB.dj_broadcast = FALSE
+	broadcasting = FALSE
+	message_admins("[src] has stopped broadcasting [inserted_tape].")
+	logger.Log(LOG_CATEGORY_MUSIC, "[src] has stopped broadcasting [inserted_tape]")
+	for(var/client/anything as anything in active_listeners)
+		if(!istype(anything))
+			continue
+		anything.tgui_panel?.stop_music()
+		GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] -= anything
+	active_listeners = list()
+
+	if(!soft)
+		for(var/mob/living/carbon/anything as anything in people_with_signals)
+			if(!istype(anything))
+				continue
+			UnregisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_EARS)
+			UnregisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_EARS)
+			UnregisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_MOVABLE_Z_CHANGED)
+		people_with_signals = list()
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/start_broadcast()
+	var/choice = tgui_input_list(usr, "Choose which song to play.", "[src]", current_namelist)
+	if(!choice)
+		return
+	var/list_index = current_namelist.Find(choice)
+	if(!list_index)
+		return
+	GLOB.dj_broadcast = TRUE
+	pl_index = list_index
+
+	var/list/viable_z = SSmapping.levels_by_any_trait(list(ZTRAIT_STATION, ZTRAIT_MINING, ZTRAIT_CENTCOM, ZTRAIT_RESERVED))
+	for(var/mob/person as anything in GLOB.player_list)
+		if(issilicon(person) || isobserver(person) || isaicamera(person) || isbot(person))
+			active_listeners |=	person.client
+			continue
+		if(iscarbon(person))
+			var/mob/living/carbon/anything = person
+			if(!(anything in people_with_signals))
+				if(!istype(anything))
+					continue
+
+				RegisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(stop_solo_broadcast))
+				RegisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
+				RegisterSignal(anything, COMSIG_MOVABLE_Z_CHANGED, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
+				people_with_signals |= anything
+
+			if(!(anything.client in active_listeners))
+				if(!(anything.z in viable_z))
+					continue
+
+				if(!anything.client)
+					continue
+
+				if(anything.client in GLOB.youtube_exempt["walkman"])
+					continue
+
+				var/obj/item/ear_slot = anything.get_item_by_slot(ITEM_SLOT_EARS)
+				if(istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/clothing/ears))
+					var/obj/item/clothing/ears/worn
+					if(!worn || !worn?.radio_compat)
+						continue
+				else if(!istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/radio/headset))
+					continue
+
+				if(!anything.client.prefs?.read_preference(/datum/preference/toggle/hear_music))
+					continue
+
+				active_listeners |=	anything.client
+
+	if(!length(active_listeners))
+		return
+
+	start_playing(active_listeners)
+	START_PROCESSING(SSprocessing, src)
+
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/check_solo_broadcast(mob/living/carbon/source, obj/item/clothing/ears/ear_item)
+	SIGNAL_HANDLER
+
+	if(!istype(source))
+		return
+
+	if(istype(ear_item, /obj/item/clothing/ears))
+		var/obj/item/clothing/ears/worn
+		if(!worn || !worn?.radio_compat)
+			return
+	else if(!istype(ear_item, /obj/item/radio/headset))
+		return
+
+	var/list/viable_z = SSmapping.levels_by_any_trait(list(ZTRAIT_STATION, ZTRAIT_MINING, ZTRAIT_CENTCOM))
+	if(!(source.z in viable_z) || !source.client)
+		return
+
+	if(!source.client.prefs?.read_preference(/datum/preference/toggle/hear_music))
+		return
+
+	active_listeners |= source.client
+	GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] |= source.client
+	INVOKE_ASYNC(src, PROC_REF(start_playing),list(source.client))
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/stop_solo_broadcast(mob/living/carbon/source)
+	SIGNAL_HANDLER
+
+	if(!source.client || !(source.client in active_listeners))
+		return
+
+	active_listeners -= source.client
+	GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] -= source.client
+	source.client.tgui_panel?.stop_music()
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/start_playing(list/clients)
+	if(!inserted_tape)
+		if(broadcasting)
+			stop_broadcast(TRUE)
+		return
+
+	waiting_for_yield = TRUE
+	if(is_http_protocol(current_playlist[pl_index]))
+		///invoking youtube-dl
+		var/ytdl = CONFIG_GET(string/invoke_youtubedl)
+		///the input for ytdl handled by the song list
+		var/web_sound_input
+		///the url for youtube-dl
+		var/web_sound_url = ""
+		///all extra data from the youtube-dl really want the name
+		var/list/music_extra_data = list()
+		web_sound_input = trim(current_playlist[pl_index])
+		if(!(web_sound_input in GLOB.parsed_audio))
+			///scrubbing the input before putting it in the shell
+			var/shell_scrubbed_input = shell_url_scrub(web_sound_input)
+			///putting it in the shell
+			var/list/output = world.shelleo("[ytdl] --geo-bypass --format \"bestaudio\[ext=mp3]/best\[ext=mp4]\[height <= 360]/bestaudio\[ext=m4a]/bestaudio\[ext=aac]\" --dump-single-json --no-playlist --extractor-args \"youtube:lang=en\" -- \"[shell_scrubbed_input]\"")
+			///any errors
+			var/errorlevel = output[SHELLEO_ERRORLEVEL]
+			///the standard output
+			var/stdout = output[SHELLEO_STDOUT]
+			if(!errorlevel)
+				///list for all the output data to go to
+				var/list/data
+				try
+					data = json_decode(stdout)
+				catch(var/exception/error) ///catch errors here
+					to_chat(src, "<span class='boldwarning'>Youtube-dl JSON parsing FAILED:</span>", confidential = TRUE)
+					to_chat(src, "<span class='warning'>[error]: [stdout]</span>", confidential = TRUE)
+					return
+
+				if (data["url"])
+					web_sound_url = data["url"]
+					music_extra_data["start"] = data["start_time"]
+					music_extra_data["end"] = data["end_time"]
+					music_extra_data["link"] = data["webpage_url"]
+					music_extra_data["title"] = data["title"]
+					if(music_extra_data["start"])
+						time_left = data["duration"] - music_extra_data["start"]
+					else
+						time_left = data["duration"]
+
+					current_song_duration = data["duration"]
+
+				GLOB.parsed_audio["[web_sound_input]"] = data
+		else
+			var/list/data = GLOB.parsed_audio["[web_sound_input]"]
+			web_sound_url = data["url"]
+			music_extra_data["start"] = data["start_time"]
+			music_extra_data["end"] = data["end_time"]
+			music_extra_data["link"] = data["webpage_url"]
+			music_extra_data["title"] = data["title"]
+			if(time_left <= 0)
+				if(music_extra_data["start"])
+					time_left = data["duration"] - music_extra_data["start"]
+				else
+					time_left = data["duration"]
+
+			current_song_duration = data["duration"]
+			music_extra_data["duration"] = data["duration"]
+
+			if(time_left > 0)
+				music_extra_data["start"] = music_extra_data["duration"] - time_left
+
+		for(var/client/anything as anything in clients)
+			if(!istype(anything))
+				continue
+			anything.tgui_panel?.play_music(web_sound_url, music_extra_data)
+			GLOB.youtube_exempt["dj-station"] |= anything
+		broadcasting = TRUE
+	waiting_for_yield = FALSE
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/add_new_player(mob/living/carbon/new_player)
+	if(!(new_player in people_with_signals))
+		RegisterSignal(new_player, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(stop_solo_broadcast))
+		RegisterSignal(new_player, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_EARS, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
+		RegisterSignal(new_player, COMSIG_MOVABLE_Z_CHANGED, PROC_REF(check_solo_broadcast))
+		people_with_signals |= new_player
+
+	if(!broadcasting)
+		return
+
+	var/obj/item/ear_slot = new_player.get_item_by_slot(ITEM_SLOT_EARS)
+	if(istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/clothing/ears))
+		var/obj/item/clothing/ears/worn
+		if(!worn || !worn?.radio_compat)
+			return
+	else if(!istype(ear_slot, /obj/item/radio/headset))
+		return
+	var/list/viable_z = SSmapping.levels_by_any_trait(list(ZTRAIT_STATION, ZTRAIT_MINING, ZTRAIT_CENTCOM))
+	if(!(new_player.z in viable_z))
+		return
+
+	if(!(new_player.client in active_listeners))
+		active_listeners |= new_player.client
+		start_playing(list(new_player.client))
+
+/obj/machinery/cassette/dj_station/proc/next_song()
+	waiting_for_yield = TRUE
+	var/choice = tgui_input_number(usr, "Choose which song number to play.", "[src]", 1, length(current_playlist), 1)
+	if(!choice)
+		waiting_for_yield = FALSE
+		stop_broadcast()
+		return
+	GLOB.dj_broadcast = TRUE
+	pl_index = choice
+
+	pl_index++
+	start_playing(active_listeners)
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/portable_mixer.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/portable_mixer.dm
index 4f95b833c7da..332d22e5366a 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/portable_mixer.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/portable_mixer.dm
@@ -5,13 +5,13 @@
 	icon_state = "walkman"
 	w_class = WEIGHT_CLASS_SMALL
 	///The cassette that is being copied from
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/send
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/send
 	///List of songs the sender has
 	var/list/sender_list
 	///List of names the Sender has
 	var/list/sender_names
 	///The cassette you are copying to
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/recieve
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/recieve
 	///List of songs the Reciever has
 	var/list/reciever_list
 	///List of song names the Reciever has
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
 	removal = !removal
 
 /obj/item/device/cassette_deck/attackby(obj/item/cassette, mob/user)
-	if(!istype(cassette, /obj/item/device/cassette_tape))
+	if(!istype(cassette, /obj/item/cassette_tape))
 		return
 	if(!send || !recieve)
 		insert_tape(cassette)
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@
 		reciever_list.Remove(reciever_list[num])
 		reciever_names.Remove(reciever_names[num])
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_deck/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/device/cassette_tape/CTape)
+/obj/item/device/cassette_deck/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/cassette_tape/CTape)
 	if(send && recieve || !istype(CTape))
 		return
 
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/postbox.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/postbox.dm
index 3b60a4326667..01cbc8161b29 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/postbox.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/postbox.dm
@@ -16,10 +16,10 @@
 
 
 /obj/machinery/cassette/mailbox/attackby(obj/item/weapon, mob/user, params)
-	if(!istype(weapon, /obj/item/device/cassette_tape) || !user.client)
+	if(!istype(weapon, /obj/item/cassette_tape) || !user.client)
 		return
 
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/attacked_tape = weapon
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/attacked_tape = weapon
 
 	var/list/admin_count = get_admin_counts(R_FUN)
 	if(!length(admin_count["present"]))
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/stationary_mixer.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/stationary_mixer.dm
index 632e9426e8ae..f0f5958f2411 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/stationary_mixer.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/machines/stationary_mixer.dm
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
 	density = TRUE
 	pass_flags = PASSTABLE
 	///cassette tape used in adding songs or customizing
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/tape
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/tape
 	///Selection used to remove songs
 	var/selection
 
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 	return TRUE
 
 /obj/machinery/cassette/adv_cassette_deck/attackby(obj/item/cassette, mob/user)
-	if(!istype(cassette, /obj/item/device/cassette_tape))
+	if(!istype(cassette, /obj/item/cassette_tape))
 		return ..()
 	if(!tape)
 		insert_tape(cassette)
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
 	else
 		to_chat(user,"Remove a tape first!")
 
-/obj/machinery/cassette/adv_cassette_deck/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/device/cassette_tape/CTape)
+/obj/machinery/cassette/adv_cassette_deck/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/cassette_tape/CTape)
 	if(tape || !istype(CTape))
 		return
 	tape = CTape
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/random_cassette_selection.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/random_cassette_selection.dm
index 19b27f0fdd81..0cc292301f09 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/random_cassette_selection.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/random_cassette_selection.dm
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(approved_ids, initialize_approved_ids())
 		return list()
 	return json_decode(file2text(ids_exist))
 
-/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/random
+/obj/item/cassette_tape/random
 	name = "Not Correctly Created Random Cassette"
 	desc = "How did this happen?"
 	random = TRUE
diff --git a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/walkman/_walkmen.dm b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/walkman/_walkmen.dm
index 6eee606c9ff9..a275fd3c8fed 100644
--- a/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/walkman/_walkmen.dm
+++ b/monkestation/code/modules/cassettes/walkman/_walkmen.dm
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(youtube_exempt, list(
 	w_class = WEIGHT_CLASS_SMALL
 	actions_types = list(/datum/action/item_action/walkman/play_pause,/datum/action/item_action/walkman/next_song,/datum/action/item_action/walkman/restart_song)
 	///the cassette tape object
-	var/obj/item/device/cassette_tape/tape
+	var/obj/item/cassette_tape/tape
 	///if the walkman is paused or not
 	var/paused = TRUE
 	///songs inside the current playlist
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(youtube_exempt, list(
 	. = ..()
 
 /obj/item/device/walkman/attackby(obj/item/cassette, mob/user)
-	if(!istype(cassette, /obj/item/device/cassette_tape))
+	if(!istype(cassette, /obj/item/cassette_tape))
 		return
 	if(!tape)
 		insert_tape(cassette)
@@ -142,7 +142,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(youtube_exempt, list(
 /obj/item/device/walkman/proc/play()
 	if(!current_song)
 		if(current_playlist.len > 0)
-			if(findtext(current_playlist[pl_index], GLOB.is_http_protocol))
+			if(is_http_protocol(current_playlist[pl_index]))
 				///invoking youtube-dl
 				var/ytdl = CONFIG_GET(string/invoke_youtubedl)
 				///the input for ytdl handled by the song list
@@ -232,9 +232,9 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(youtube_exempt, list(
 
 
 /*Called when
- *Arguments: obj/item/device/cassette_tape/CT -> the cassette in question that you are inserting into the walkman
+ *Arguments: obj/item/cassette_tape/CT -> the cassette in question that you are inserting into the walkman
  */
-/obj/item/device/walkman/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/device/cassette_tape/CTape)
+/obj/item/device/walkman/proc/insert_tape(obj/item/cassette_tape/CTape)
 	if(tape || !istype(CTape))
 		return
 
@@ -285,7 +285,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(youtube_exempt, list(
 	break_sound()
 
 	pl_index = pl_index + 1 <= current_playlist.len ? (pl_index += 1) : 1
-	link_play = findtext(current_playlist[pl_index], GLOB.is_http_protocol) ? TRUE : FALSE
+	link_play = is_http_protocol(current_playlist[pl_index])
 
 
 	if(!link_play)
diff --git a/tgstation.dme b/tgstation.dme
index 7518b42b14c8..f461f0a49bbe 100644
--- a/tgstation.dme
+++ b/tgstation.dme
@@ -412,6 +412,7 @@
 #include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\blueshift.dm"
 #include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\botany.dm"
 #include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\cargo.dm"
+#include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\cassettes.dm"
 #include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\chat.dm"
 #include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\chewin.dm"
 #include "code\__DEFINES\~monkestation\clock_cult.dm"
@@ -608,6 +609,7 @@
 #include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\mobs.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\records.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\roundend.dm"
+#include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\text.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\time.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\virology.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\~monkestation-helpers\logging\attack.dm"
@@ -7030,7 +7032,7 @@
 #include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\cassette_approval.dm"
 #include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\random_cassette_selection.dm"
 #include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\cassette_db\cassette_datum.dm"
-#include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\cassette_db\subsystem.dm"
+#include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\cassette_db\cassette_manager.dm"
 #include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\machines\cassette_rack.dm"
 #include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\machines\dj_station.dm"
 #include "monkestation\code\modules\cassettes\machines\portable_mixer.dm"