Modeling patterns of behaviour in garden gnomes whilst guarding human hearts
#Author Cristina Perez-Becerril
#Co-Author Gnomeo Monague
#Introduction There once was a lady who had a garden gnome
She came out one day and gave her heart to the gnome as other people had done before her (Bloggs et al 2004).
Jones et al (1998) demonstrated that when giving your heart to a garden gnome it is important to advice them on how to handle it.
Garden gnomes may not be reliable guardians of hearts. Therefore assessing incidence of heartbreak for garden gnomes is important.
We observed 13590 people with garden gnomes who have given them their harts. Observations were made following a previosly described methodology (Smith et al., 2002)
Around 90% of garden gnomes broke the heart that had been given to them. Around 50% of those who broke hearts tried to repair them. Around 30% managed to replaced them with false hearts. All garden gnomes who broke hearts were thrown out or discarded
Figures and legends for paper
Do not give your heart to a garden gnome
We would like to thank E. Sharp for inspiring this study and providing materials.